What Is Wrong With Me?

When things are going okay for me, why do I seem to throw a wrench in the works? I was reconnecting with David and Rey, which could either have been a good or a bad thing. In my own immature way, I took the mending friendships and took a sledgehammer to sever the ties. I invited Rey to the bar Tuesday night, just to hang out and scout the area for hot guys, but he declined. He wanted to get up early to go to work.

I assume he did this for the Jason Mraz concert he attended Wednesday night, since he had to be off work early. I've noticed that Rey has a very selfish quality, which involves doing whatever he wants only when he wants. When David told me they were at this concert, I grew incredibly annoyed. How easy it is for David to convince Rey to take off work, while I must pull teeth and inevitably end up with him blowing me off anyway.

When I realized I had become jealous over this ridiculously inane thing, I knew that I could not maintain a friendship with David or Rey. I do not like how I act when they are involved. This is not their fault, since if I was more mature, I'd just recognize that Rey and David are best friends and these types of things are bound to occur. Even that I realized this fact, envy still reared up and took hold.

So I told David not to text me any longer. He responded kindly, letting me know he was just telling me how much fun he had that night, and then said goodbye. I felt bad, so in the morning, I wrote a short message to him to explain why I felt the need to end our friendship, before things got bad and we grew to hate each other.

And if that wasn't bad enough, I had dreams about them that very night. Just a reminder of the good times I used to have with them, and what I will now miss for the unforseeable future. It could be months before I feel like I have moved on, but I know that I may always face the awkward encounter with them at the bars and clubs. And I will cry myself to sleep until I do.

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